Liberty Ranch Page 10

  Katrina greeted Mabel and Dinah as she sat down.

  "How are things going?" Mabel wanted to know.

  Katrina chuckled. "You don't waste any time, do ya?"

  "Nope, not when you need to get things figured out." Mabel smiled.

  Katrina made a face. "That is so like a Starry thin’ to say."

  "You miss them?" Dinah asked.

  Katrina nodded. "More than I ever thought possible. With the busyness of the children, it has gotten better. I miss their advice. They were always there." She looked away. "I reckon I never expected to lose another parent."

  They both looked at her tenderly. Katrina didn't want their pity. She changed the subject and asked something that had been on her mind. Talking so much, she almost forgot to eat. These ladies told her about motherhood, funny things they and their children did. They advised her how to teach the girls, discipline, and love them without having them freak out. She took it in like a bee to honey.

  Suddenly Katrina heard a scream and turned around to see Carlissa on the ground near a group of other girls her age. By the time Katrina got over there to her side, the whole church was watching. Her cheeks burned.

  Andrew and Mabel came up beside her. Andrew picked Carlissa up as she was stiff as a board, and carried her inside the church, with the young girl screaming the whole while.

  Charles met them in there, but he stood back.

  Katrina looked at him for an answer. "What can you do?"

  Charles shook his head. "Nothing, she will stop when she is ready."

  "Why does she do this?"

  "If we knew we would write a book on it," Mabel told her dryly. "Prayer, love, and time do help sometimes."

  "Are there any treatments?" Andrew asked.

  Mabel gave him a sarcastic look. "Yeah, they made her into this mess."

  Charles cleared his throat.

  "That is why you are running Liberty Ranch to help families," Mabel told him. "So they can treat and care for their children."

  Andrew had never been so embarrassed. His new friends had seen Carlissa screaming like she was mad. What must they be thinking? He wished some of his siblings could be here. Julia or Maverick would know what to do. What was wrong with her? And to make it worse, Mabel and Charles acted like this was no big deal. Well, it was a big deal to him. He wanted it to stop.

  "I am not sure what to do when this happens," Katrina admitted, and she moved to pull Carlissa into her arms as she screamed.

  Mabel signed fast, "Even if you are unsure, never admit that when the girls are around. It shows them you can't handle them, and they don't feel safe." She smiled. "Just think you got this, even if it's the furthest thing from your mind. God gives me the strength to do all things, all things, even this."

  Katrina nodded.

  "Is there anything else we can do?" Mabel signed.

  Andrew finally spoke up, "No, we are fine. We have this under control."

  He saw Katrina stare at him, thinking, We have nothing under control, don't send away my help. But he ignored her look. He didn't need anyone's help. They had always done things by themselves and they did just fine.

  Charles took Mabel's hand and nodded to Andrew.

  "We will pray for you all," Mabel said as she left the church.

  Katrina glared at him. He knew they would fight about this later. Ellen had taught them not to fight in front of the children.

  He prayed Clarissa’s screams would end soon - for all their sakes.

  IZZY WATCHED FRANCESCA'S face turn red and her lips get tight.

  Alice, Mabel’s granddaughter, who sat next to Francesca with other girls their age, was trying to talk to her about something. Maybe it would help to have Mabel's granddaughter as a friend. The sun bore down on them, showing them that summer was coming.

  As Izzy cleared the plates since it didn't look like they were coming back for it, she could smell some of the leftovers and what smelled like apple pie. A boy ran up to her, "Miss Donovan?"

  "Yes."

  "This telegram came for you and the Starrys." He handed her the note.

  "Thank you," Izzy told him and dug in her purse for a dime.

  His face lit up as he took it from her. "Thank you, Miss."

  Izzy nodded. She noticed his clothes and voice; he was a poor immigrant.

  She opened the telegram:

  To Mr. Mrs. Andrew Starry, Mr. Jesse Starry, and Miss Izzy Donovan of Deer Trail.

  Hope this finds you all well. Sawyer and Annie along with Jerry and Gloria will leave on Wednesday. they have a surprise. with all my protection. Maverick Starry

  After putting the letter away, she looked to see Katrina and Andrew getting ready to leave with the now calm, perfect child.

  She spotted Francesca talking to a young man by the tree a little away from everyone. Izzy knew Timmy and knew he was a good young man.

  Francesca was smiling like an innocent young schoolgirl. Izzy knew that feeling. She laughed about something he said. He laughed along.

  Izzy walked up to get Francesca. "Hi, it’s nice to see you again, Timmy."

  Timmy stepped back from Francesca a little. "You too. I was so excited to hear your family is moving here."

  "Yes, Deer Trail is a great town." Izzy smiled. "Well, we have to run, but we will see y'all soon."

  Timmy laughed.

  Francesca smiled.

  "What?" Izzy asked the youth.

  Francesca chuckled and winked at Timmy. "Timmy thinks we talk funny since we are from the south."

  Izzy grinned at them; she took Francesca's arm in a teasing way. "We are one of a kind."

  Timmy grinned. "That is for sure."

  Izzy didn't let her go, but they headed over to Andrew's wagon. She rubbed the mare as she passed. "Do you want to walk home, Fran? It's such a lovely day."

  Francesca shrugged and started for home while Izzy told the others.

  Katrina looked surprised, but nodded.

  Izzy caught up with Francesca. They walked in silence till they were out of town. Trees lined the side of the roads.

  "So what, you will tell me it's terrible to talk with a boy? Or to have a beau?" Francesca asked Izzy in haste.

  Izzy grinned. "No, you probably wouldn't listen."

  "Nope," Francesca said firmly.

  Izzy kept her voice light. "But I will tell you anyhow."

  Francesca looked at her like she didn't care, but behind her eyes, Izzy saw confusion. She understood that. "It's not wrong to talk to boys or have beaus; just watch how you act with them. Since men scare me, I have to be careful how close I get to one."

  "Why?" Francesca sounded like she cared now.

  "Because when you have been intimate with a man, even if you don't want to or wanted it, it opens you up to those feelings. Sometimes people think the only way to know love is through sex. However, there is much more to love. That kind of love belongs in a marriage, not outside of it. And real love is carin’, kind, and bein’ patient. My father beat me growin’ up, so I had a hard time feeling what real love means." She paused. "Would you have let Timmy kiss you?"

  Francesca shrugged like it didn't matter. "Men have kissed me lots of times. I am used to kissin’. I don't think whether I like it."

  "You should. You shouldn't do something if you don't like it."

  "It happened for so long, I don't see why not," Francesca told her flatly.

  "That's what needs to change in your heart. Just be careful with him."

  Francesca defended herself. "Many girls have had their first or second child by my age."

  Izzy corrected. "Being married, they have." She rolled her eyes as she spotted the ranch come into sight.

  "That is a given."

  Izzy nodded. "Yes, many girls are courting by your age but just be careful just the same." She wondered if only Timmy could handle Francesca's past. Few men could handle having an ex-child prostitute as a wife. Maybe that is why Izzy thought so much of Jesse, because he wanted her. But then he didn't know a
bout her past. She knew it was time to tell him, but she was afraid of it. Afraid of how he might handle it.

  "What's wrong?"

  Izzy looked out over to the beautiful Rocky Mountains on the edge of Liberty Ranch. "Just thinkin’."

  "Of how unfair it is that we have to look at life differently? It's not fair," Francesca said in despair.

  "You’re right, it's not fair. I've wondered in the past if God disliked me."

  "He hated me. My ma said He hated me for letting me be born."

  Izzy stopped by the paddock at the gate of the ranch, watching Francesca as her eyes followed the grazing horses. "He loves you more than Katrina or Andrew ever could. At times you will feel the love and at other times it feels so lonely that depression sinks in." She paused. "God didn't let it happen, it happened because of a sin of this world. Sin of men. Because everything they did to us was a sin, but not our sin. God made this world perfect and because of people there is now sin, and because of that, free will."

  "I don't see the point," Francesca said as she pulled away.

  Izzy let her, feeling her pain, knowing how much she understood. "Just keep talking about it, at least you can. Sara can't. And Carlissa can't talk about much without screaming."

  Francesca frowned at her. "You think she will one day?"

  "That will be up to her. You always have a choice." Izzy kissed her forehead like a child.

  Chapter 12

  "Watch this, Julia!" Travis yelled as he took a sturdy branch and swung into the pond.

  Julia smiled, waving at the boy. She didn't mind that the older children didn't call her ma. She was too much like an older sister.

  Jonathan came up and needed her to cut a piece of rope. Julia knew Cole had a knife, but she just reached in her boot, pulled out her own knife, and cut it for him. Putting the knife back and leaning against the tree, she went back to thinking of the children. Talking to Melody about Ellen passing, and even Missy passing, had helped Melody. It was bringing up those memories and the memories of the abuse from Frank. Melody could talk about it easier than Charity. Julia still didn't know what to say over it. She just felt so guilty that she hadn’t known the truth for so long. She blocked those thoughts out. Today was fun with the children and Cole had taken the afternoon off.

  He leaned over and kissed her. He held her hand all afternoon. She felt like a young bride. But then again, she was. It was tough with the children, always demanding attention. "I am glad you took a break."

  "I need to do it more," Cole told her. "We need more alone time."

  Julia teased. "Being a deputy, helping find a new matron for Liberty House, and working the ranch keeps a body busy."

  Cole rolled his eyes. "You could say that again. You make me tired thinkin’ about it. I like workin’ the ranch with the boys."

  Julia agreed the boys were good. They acted like perfect gentlemen, which sometimes had her worried. She didn't want them shoving their feelings away as she had done as a child. Or now. She knew she could be honest with Cole, and she was mostly. Sometimes it scared her to be fully honest. What if he rejected her? Couldn't handle the truth? She wanted to tell him how she was struggling with David. But Cole was so good with them he might not believe her.

  Cole eyed her. "What's going on in that pretty head?"

  Julia shrugged. "Nothin' worth much."

  David ran up to her and wanted to get something from the house. She needed to go get the drinks, so she took his hand, and they went. David ran off ahead, not listening when she said to stop. She just shook her head, though she was surprised he didn't listen. He was always so obedient.

  In the cabin, she got a pitcher of orange juice from the cellar and a cup. She would miss these hot summer days. They held such fond memories with the family.

  Katrina had written to her about the pond they had there and the hot springs. She would learn to love Colorado just as much as she’d loved it here in Alabama. She couldn't wait to try the warm water. How nice would that be while washing her hair?

  David ran all over the house, acting wild, touching things he wasn't supposed to touch, and moving stuff around.

  Julia told him to stop, but he didn't listen. She put down the pitcher and took his hand. "What is wrong? I told you not to do that." She tried to be clear, but she was confused by what he was doing.

  David screamed. "No, I won't stop!"

  It shocked Julia. Where was this coming from?

  David hit her with his fist and screamed again. He tried to get away from Julia, but she held unto his hand. She knew she had to deal with this or she would lose his respect. She honestly wanted to cry. She didn't know how to handle this. What had happened to her sweet boy? She got down to his level. He wouldn't look her in the eyes. What was happening? "David, what is wrong? Why would you hit me?"

  He shrugged his little shoulders. "I felt like it."

  Julia didn't know what to say. "Well, you can't do that. You have to be disciplined."

  Suddenly his face was repentant, but his eyes held an edge to them. "I’m sorry, mama. I love you." His voice cracked. Then he hugged her like she was his best friend.

  Julia hugged him back. Maybe it was a one-time thing. Her little boy was back. She kissed him on the head and told him she would deal with him later on his punishment. He even helped her carry the cup to the pond.

  THE KITCHEN WAS STUFFY and hot as Julia boiled the green beans for canning. Her sister, Gloria, pulled up her sleeves as she finished the dishes.

  Charity and Melody were helping and always teasing each other or making jokes about the new crazy thing the pony had done. They could laugh for hours about the ponies.

  Julia was sending Charity and Melody out to swim in the pond with the good watch dog, Bunny.

  "Oh, thank goodness," Charity laughed. “We will be back to help.”

  Julia shook her head. "I will call you in for supper. Take the rest of the afternoon off, honey," she told her. The girl acted too much like an adult. "The little boys are playin’ with Matt, so you don't have to worry about them.” She hit them playfully with a towel. “Now go, girlies."

  Charity squealed in delight. "No boys and no chores. Let's go." Then she added nervously, "Will you make sure the boys stay away?"

  Julia smiled lightly, trying to cover her discomfort so Gloria wouldn't notice. "I will make sure."

  The girls ran out chasing each other.

  Gloria put the pan on for the canning and sat at the table with a piece of plum cake.

  Julia took the break they needed and poured them a tall glass of sweet tea.

  Gloria took a sip and winced. "All we need with this heat is a sugar rush," she said dryly.

  Julia rolled her eyes. “Not too hot to be sarcastic.” She felt at peace with Gloria, like she didn't have to be a parent or protector. She could just relax and be a friend like she was. She had thought about it for a while but didn't know how to bring up her issues with David. He was so good with Gloria and Cole. It seemed like he was only angry at her. Maybe it was just her. Maybe she wasn't bonding with him enough. She felt like it was something she was doing wrong.? She put the rest of the green beans on the stove and then sat back down. She pulled back her hair and tied it with a ribbon. “I can't wait for this heat to end and for us to be in Colorado territory.”

  Gloria nodded. "I miss Katrina so much. Her letters or notes just ain’t enough."

  Julia nodded. "I wish so much I could talk to her in person. That I could talk to a parent."

  Gloria looked surprised. "What is wrong? You can talk to me."

  Julia knew she could, but she wanted some help with some of her struggles as a mother and she didn't want to burden Gloria with it. She knew Gloria was her only option for talking. Sometimes she longed for fellowship. “I just feel like I need to be a better ma."

  "You are a wonderful mother," Gloria reassured her. "You love them and that is most important."

  Julia drank some tea. Maybe it was a little sugar high. If only loving th
em was enough, but Julia wasn't so sure. It was painful to have her son hurt her with his words and rage. "It’s David. He is so hard to deal with. When I try to discipline him, he just laughs or fights me. Nothin’ I do fazes him. He does nothing I ask him without putting up a fight. He yells and screams as I have never seen him do with anyone else.” She sighed and didn't know if she should tell all the stuff he did. If she told Gloria everything, would she believe it? Julia struggled to believe it, and she saw it every day. “David is so mean to the other kids, especially Johnathan. He hits, yells, and fights with Johnathan all the time. I couldn't find out who was breaking all the children's toys, along with the girl's dolls. I found David broke them. He destroys everything. He looks at me with such anger in his eyes. It's like he hates me. We have always been so close before. I don't understand it." I didn’t expect this when adopting him. It wasn’t in the plan. Suddenly she felt guilty for thinking that.

  Gloria's eyes were wide. Before speaking, she took another sip of tea. "That doesn't sound like David at all. He is such a sweet boy."

  Julia nodded. "I know, but he is so angry with me."

  Gloria shrugged. “Maybe you are reading into it wrong. I am sure if you show him extra love, he will come around. Remember what their father Owen did, betraying us like that. Shooting Maverick. It was such a big shock and so hurtful especially to ones so young." She leaned closer. "Maybe you are just seeing it differently than it is."

  The words cut at Julia's heart. Oh, how she wished it were different. Though maybe Gloria was right, maybe she just needed to love him more, care for him more. Now she was just confused. Just then David and Jonathan ran in.

  Johnathan ran to Julia, and she pulled him into a hug and kiss while David ran to Gloria. In his happy bliss, David talked all about the day he’d had with Matt.

  Gloria gave her another look like maybe Julia could be wrong and David was just fine.

  All Julia knew was she was starting to wear thin from not knowing what she was doing wrong.

  THE SUN WAS HIGH IN the sky by the time Izzy got back to the house; Katrina was still out with the girls. It was a beautiful day for a ride; she loved it here. So much beauty in one place. How had she gotten so lucky, or blessed, to be here with all of this?