Liberty House Read online

  “I have heard lies about Liberty House,” Tommy stated, not harshly but honestly telling him what she had heard.

  Cole frowned, his jaw turning hard. “Yea, I have heard the lies. Sometimes you can’t believe everything you hear. Government officials, churches, communities, and even the pastors don’t understand the touched people and the families trying to help them. They blame and accuse while not doing anything to help the families that do make a difference. They are hurting the children even more. I wish just once a person who blames the people for helping could live a day in their life. Could see what and how hard a touched child can be. And how they can become someone great one day. How they are children of God. For everyone to see them how God sees them.” Cole sighed and put his hands on the table looking deep into those blue eyes. Maybe trying to convince her. “I have come to face it that only God can do that, and it is up to Him and the people how they view His children. It's not in my hands. Cause when I thought it was up to me, I was miserable and always trying to fix something that wasn’t in my power. When I gave it up to God I became more at peace and said God it is up to You, they are all Your people, I will do what He called me to, but in the end, the choice is up to Him.”

  “You seem to have such a passion for the Liberty People,” Tommy stated.

  Cole turned to get more coffee in his cup, “Yea, you could say that.

  Tommy drank a sip of coffee and asked, “How does the House work with the children’s parents because like most orphans, they ain’t real orphans.”

  “They are alive most of the time. The parents really don’t bother the Home children and when they do, we try our best to work with them. We try anything other than going to court. When it goes to court it doesn’t work out best for the child in most cases. And again, we work on the strength of our children.” He paused. “We work on morals and structure on not being alone and being accountable to people who are spiritual leadership.”

  "I've never heard of it like that, but if more people did it like that, there would be fewer orphans, I think. Jerry and Sawyer wouldn't be orphans if their parents had made better choices, and who knows how many others."

  "That's true. But there are only orphans because the mother doesn't want the responsibility for them or the shame of raising a child on her own and because of men who won't take responsibility for their choices. That's something that will destroy this nation. Those men who are spineless. We need more Godly men." Cole said passionately like maybe he spoke like this before. “Well, that is my opinion anyway.”

  She smiled.

  "What?" Cole asked.

  "You're strong on what you believe. Ellen always said there are accident parents but no accident babies." She finished her coffee. She washed her dishes as well as the ones in the sink, then went back to her seat. "So, what are you making now?"

  "Cookies."

  She grinned. "You've got a sweet tooth."

  "How'd you guess? These are sugar cookies."

  "Mmmmh. I love sugar cookies."

  He had his hands in the cookie dough now. "My favorite sweet is apple Dutch pie, but these are more fun. I make them into shapes and designs. You can make anything you want."

  "How’d you learn to do that?"

  "My aunt and a lady I worked with taught me. Makin’ cookies help with some of the children I work with."

  "What do you mean?"

  He got a rolling pin out and started to roll the dough out, "As a U.S. Marshal, I work with mostly children."

  "I didn't know that."

  "Yeah, children with rich or political parents," he answered. "Makin’ cookies are somethin’ fun for them to do in a time of pain and crisis. They just need to be children again; havin’ fun is a part of that."

  Tommy looked down at what he was doing and remembered something from her childhood, making cookies, with a nice lady. Cutting them, cooking them, and making one in a heart shape. Then, the heart-shaped cookie broke into two pieces just like her own heart did. Her heart was never whole after that. She didn't know where the memory came from, so she pulled her attention away from it whenever it came up.

  "I will be leavin’, Tommy," the lady said. "Leavin’ for some time, stay strong." Stay strong; when all she wanted to do was curl up and die.

  "You sound like a mind doctor," Tommy said too roughly.

  Surprised at her tone, Cole looked at her, then seeing her face, he said calmly, "No. I honestly don't like those people from personal experience. I know many pastors and doctors do real help." He didn't call them mind doctors. He called them evil men who did what they wanted under the name of a doctor.

  "I... don't care. I hate them. They're bad. All bad. I... I need to go," she said.

  The memories were too much. She couldn't remember when it happened. ‘Remember,' her mind said, but her heart didn't want to. Remembering was too hard. The heart-shaped cookies were always broken. The nice lady said, "I need to go. Stay strong." Another person leaving her life, but who had it been? She couldn't remember the face. To remember hurt deep in her heart. She walked to the painting room and slammed the door. She leaned against the door and curled up like a small child. Don't remember, but she needed to. The past was catching up to her, and it terrified her.

  Cole looked to Katrina and Gloria, "Does she do that often?"

  Katrina sighed. "I wish I could say no, but too often. I think every orphan carries baggage from their past, and it comes out at times even as adults."

  "Not only orphans," Cole said quietly and then asked, "Does she have anything in her past that deals with mind doctors?"

  "Not that I know of, but she only came to Alabama when she was almost eight. So before then, it was rough. Ellen and Ben tried not to be too pushy with past secrets. It will all come out in time," Gloria told him.

  "You think she's hiding something?"

  "I'm not sure. Maybe. Most orphans have something dark in their pasts."

  "I know what you mean. Y'all are so much like a family that a person might forget you ain't."

  "That's a good thing. We need each other."

  Katrina looked at him thoughtfully. "You mind if I ask you a question?"

  "If it's as personal as Tommy's, not at the moment. I can't deal with another subject like that at the moment."

  "Understood." Katrina grinned. "Have you always believed that about the morals of Liberty Home?"

  Cole shook his head. "No, just the last couple of years I came to see it their way, God’s way."

  "Tommy's right. We've never heard of anyone havin’ those strong values. Thank you for talking to Tommy about that. She needs to hear of more good Christian things."

  "Don't you and Gloria talk to her about it?"

  "Of course, but living in the same house, it's hard at times. You don't want to come across as preaching all the time. So, if it comes up, I'll talk to her about it. More so, she needs to see Christians in action instead of hearin’ about what they should be doin’. She and Maverick already know about salvation. Tommy has been in many homes with Christian parents but was always sent back to the orphanage. For Maverick and some of the others, it was the Christians bein’ told we were insane and didn't deserve a home or family. It was the pastors who would never talk to you, the church ladies who would yell or shy away when you touched them, the revivals at the church where we had to sit on the grass outside the window to listen."

  Cole's eyes widened. He hadn't heard about this part of their lives, but he knew what that kind of treatment could be like. Literally, he had known it. "If Tommy and Maverick received their value and worth from the hypocrisy of those Christians, I can see why things are so tough for them." If they only could understand unconditional love, God's love for them. He had to learn the hard way how much God loved him and wanted him. He shook his head, "I have problems with so-called Christians like that. I have seen them my whole life workin’ with…" He stopped himself before he told too much. "With my work as a Marshall. How did you come to believe when all you saw were tho
se hypocrites?"

  Katrina looked at him. She was the strongest woman in the family and had the easiest life out of all of them. Though the fire had been bad, her life before that was stable. "I probably saw the hypocrites more than most of the others. I spent time in the churches, the rich plantations, mansions. I chose to believe because I wanted to change. I wanted to be different but couldn't do it on my own. I saw a need for a Savior. It was not easy to let go of my fears, but I did it. I believe the rest of the family will too. I just hope one day real Christians will let us in."

  Cole could see on her face it was still hard to be out of any kind of Christian fellowship from churches, never belonging to a church family because she was different. He could understand how she felt.

  He looked at the door Tommy had slammed. "You both are good friends and sisters to her."

  Katrina followed his gaze and nodded.

  Gloria looked longingly at the door. "I just love her so much and want the best for her." A tear slid down her face, and she quietly wiped it away.

  Cole put a tray of cookies into the oven to avoid looking at Gloria. He knew she tried to hide her emotions most of the time. He thought of Tommy. If he married her, he wouldn't have to be afraid she would cry on him very often. She didn't cry.

  He almost dropped the next tray of cookies at that thought. He couldn't marry her. She wasn't a believer, and he would never make the mistake of going into a relationship again with a woman who lacked a strong faith. Anyways, he didn't love her. If he married, it would be for love.

  If he were looking for love, though, he could imagine his life with Tommy. She was beautiful, sweet, caring, and so talented, it shook him to the core, her passion. He could see what their future children would look like... He quickly stopped his train of thought. Even if she had a strong faith, she would never agree to marry him. Not that it mattered. He didn't love her, he told himself. To get his mind off marriage and Tommy, he asked Katrina, "So did Andrew get anyone to come to the rodeo?"

  Katrina shook her head. "Nope, just us this time. They are getting’ someone to watch the office, so Frank and Owen can both come."

  Cole grunted. He let his thoughts drift back to Tommy. Why had she reacted like that? Was it because the family spoiled her? But when she walked out of the room, she didn't look spoiled. No, she looked hurt or afraid. There was something nagging at him. There must be something more with Tommy than her family knew. She was hiding something; he was almost sure of it.

  Like always, it would take time to figure it out. He did have patience when he needed it, especially with children. And he did work with young adults who had rough pasts, but none his age and none so lovely. His emotions were getting in the way of his job and he knew it. He would ask Sawyer; he would know.

  She was a mess. Well, not on the outside-she was beautiful on the outside-but the inside she was a mess. Cole thought about Tommy. He watched her put some food into the wagon. Her hair was down and hung in curls around the middle of her back. She wore a pretty, blue dress that matched her eyes; it made her look so feminine and beautiful. He just wanted to hug her till she smiled up at him, a smile that matched her stunning blue eyes. But he knew he couldn't take away what was bothering her, and that hurt. Whatever it was, he wanted to be able to fix it.

  He needed to talk to Sawyer. He needed answers. Maverick could know something about his sister. Maybe. He would have to wait to ask Maverick. He knew who to go to first.

  Cole left Maverick in charge of Tommy; he had a mission. He found Sawyer by the barn. "Hey, Sawyer."

  Sawyer looked at him, but he knew what Cole wanted and didn't want to face him. He had heard what had been bothering Tommy, which meant she was getting close without knowing it. He hated all the secrets. The lies. He kept his voice light, "Hi. How are you?"

  "Good. Yourself?" Cole replied.

  "Okay. Where's the family?"

  "Putting out the food by the smokehouse. Then, we'll do the rodeo after we eat. The brothers thought we needed the whole day."

  "You mean Tommy?"

  "Well, it doesn’t take long for anyone to talk about her, does it?"

  "Nope. Tommy's our pride and joy." Sawyer smiled though the smile didn't meet his eyes.

  "Anyone can see that." Cole changed the subject. "Sawyer, you been honest with the family about Tommy's past?"

  Sawyer looked surprised, "What do you mean?"

  "You know something the rest don't know?" Cole demanded.

  Sawyer nodded slowly, looking defeated.

  Cole sighed. So, he was right. "You gonna be honest about it?"

  Sawyer nodded, "Soon."

  "How soon?" Cole didn't believe him.

  Sawyer glared at him. "By the end of the week, the truth will be out."

  Cole nodded, "Good."

  Sawyer made a sarcastic face, "Anything to make you happy."

  Cole patted him on the back and smiled softly, "It will be for the best, you will see."

  Sawyer looked over to where Tommy was playing with David. The truth would be out by week's end. He wanted it so badly to be out, yet he was so terrified he could hardly breathe.

  Wow, that man could pull off a western outfit. He was very good-looking, but nothing like how he looked in a suit and new boots on the day of the gallery. Tommy shouldn't be thinking such thoughts about Cole, but how could she not think it? He kept reminding her of someone. It was just something she kept remembering or not remembering.

  Cole came up to her and smiled. "Ready for today. Having a day off?"

  Tommy smiled. "I might draw some of the boys riding broncos to keep the memories alive."

  Cole smiled. "You're really good at that. I’ve even heard that Hunter and Travis are goin’ to try their hand at ridin’ broncos?"

  "Yeah, I hope they can. It’ll be good for them." She thought for a minute before saying, “Oh, I need somethin’ from the wagon."

  "What?" He walked with her.

  "A surprise."

  "What is it? The sweets you were cookin' last night?"

  "Wait. It's a surprise."

  "I like knowin’ things."

  "I figured that out. I'll tell you what the family tells me: live with it; it’s life."

  He smiled.

  She got a pie out of the bed of the wagon.

  "Ooooooh, a pie? What kind?" He smelled it. "No, that can't be."

  Tommy laughed, took the covering off the dish, and proudly showed him the pie.

  "A Dutch apple pie. You're amazin’." He looked down at Tommy, turning a little too tender.

  Her heart skipped a beat. He thought she was amazing, and looking into those rich, dark brown eyes was like she had almost seen him somewhere before. Almost like she had looked into those eyes before. But who? An image flashed in her mind, and she closed her eyes to shut it out. Then she looked up at Cole and smiled lightly, knowing the smile didn't meet her eyes. "Let's go try my famous apple pie."

  Cole winked at her. "Oh, now it is a famous apple pie."

  Tommy gave him a cheeky grin. "You'd better believe it."

  Chapter Thirteen

  Sitting in the parlor, drawing a picture of a horse, Cole said she needed to do the horses more often. So, Tommy was in a different room drawing. She thought it might help to change rooms. She drew from memory. She let her mind go to draw this one.

  When she was finished, her pencil was dull, but she looked at the full picture. A horse in the gulf with a boy on his back. She hadn’t meant to draw this, but it just came out from a memory or maybe a dream she kept having. She hadn’t struggled with these kinds of memories in many years. She kept looking at it and realized this was her best friend at one point and his horse, Tiny. The boy's face was fussy and not clear, but it was him, nonetheless.

  Strange she would remember so well when she hadn’t seen them in nearly fifteen years. She took the paper off, crumbled it up, and threw it on the other side of the sofa. She didn’t want to remember. It hurt too much. She hadn’t had nightmares like t
his in such a long time. She knew the way the nightmares came it was leading up to a bad one. One she was afraid she would never get out of. She hated living in fear of herself and the men.

  Glancing beside her, she saw Cole’s Bible on the table. Were all the answers in there like he said? Would she stop living in fear? Would God really change her? Or even want her?

  She picked it up and felt the soft leather. It fell open to the book of Psalms. She had to memorize many verses growing up. She remembered some of them. A paper is what caught her attention first. It looked like an old painting. She pulled it all the way out and stared.

  The painting was two children on a beach with the gulf behind them. The boy looked eerily like what she would imagine Cole would look like as a child. The girl was an image of Tommy. It hit Tommy like a brick. How could this be?

  She looked at the edge and read her name, her real name, Julia Williams. She turned the picture over. In the handwriting of someone slightly older than she appeared to be in the picture were the words, “Best friends forever.” Her mind wasn’t keeping up with what was reality.

  Could this be… Cole? Could she have known him as a girl? Was he her best friend as a child? How could that be? How could she not have known all this time? She reached over and opened her drawing. Though mangled, it was the same boy in the picture. Who now was a man. The knowing dawned on her like morning light.