Liberty House Page 14

  "What will telling them matter? I thought about it, but it hurts so bad. Deep in my heart." Tommy cried, feeling broken.

  Sawyer couldn't breathe. He knew what Tommy was saying. He had the same emotions. Tommy and he had tried to cover up their secret for so long, but now it was going to come out and shove it in their face.

  Ben had always told him it would come out one day. When life calmed down, he started getting closer to Ben. Jesse had stopped a lot of his drama, and the others had even gotten where he could feel like he could breathe. Ben would take him on overnight trails, just the two of them, and he would talk and tell tales. He wished he could remember all the man said, but he treasured those times they had together.

  Ben also took him into town and told him he would get a writing job one day at the newspaper office. Ben sat with him in the barn office away from the boys, and he would encourage Sawyer to write. Ben himself didn't write or read well, but he always encouraged his children to learn. In those precious times together, Sawyer had almost told him the truth. He probably would have if Ben hadn't passed away.

  After that, the whole family fell apart, they almost went back to where they were as children but in adult bodies. He had turned back into the angry boy who hated God again for taking his father away. With all of them angry, and Owen and even Frank saying for him to trust them to treat him like Ben, but he couldn't. His whole life had been snatched away in the week it took Ben to pass away from the fever.

  Then, when he knew his past had caught up with him, he knew he would have told Ben the truth. But telling his still angry brothers and Ellen seemed impossible. He just got angrier at God for taking Ben when he needed him most, so he had just got angrier till his brothers believed his lies about the men were after their family.

  Five years later, he knew it was time to tell them. Not just because he now put his trust in God, the truth needed to be out. He needed to know the truth even if they did leave. He now knew why he never told, he was too afraid they would find him and Tommy not good enough. He had believed the world's lie. It was time to believe God's truth.

  He was so scared to tell them even now. His mind said to run, and they won't have the chance to hurt you. His heart said it was time to take that chance even if his heart got broken, that love was trusting and depending on each other. "I believe it will if we're open with them." Sawyer cleared his throat. "Since becoming a Christian, I’ve realized how much lyin’ to them has hurt them and us. We have to be honest with our family. I want to feel loved by them like I did once by Juan Jose. He loved me because he knew the truth."

  Sawyer looked right at her and when she tried to look away, he took her face in his hands. "The Starrys have the power to hurt me like no one else, and they don't even know it. It hurts more than words can say every time I think about tellin’ them, knowin’ they might leave." He said with tears pouring down his face. "But I am willing to take that chance because I love them, and I want to be free from hiding this secret."

  Looking into Tommy's terrified eyes, he knew she felt the same way. They both knew what had to be done. It was going to be the second-longest night of their lives. He put his arms around her, and they just held each other. They needed each other more now than they ever had.

  Sawyer heard a twig break. It wasn't from him or Tommy. He saw someone behind Tommy. Matthew Starry stood there. He wiped his eyes away in shame. His family knew the truth sooner than he thought. At least it was out. All he had to do now was to tell the truth about that night.

  Tommy gasped as she turned around, her eyes wide. She tried to run away, but she ran into Maverick. He grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her. She fought him, but both knew it was useless. She finally stopped and settled in his arms.

  "Let's go back to the house," Maverick told her. He was still holding her.

  Sawyer knew if Maverick let go right now, she would pass out or run.

  When it started to rain, Tommy looked faint and gave in at the knees. She couldn’t fight anymore.

  Maverick caught her in his arms. He went to her horse and mounted while holding Tommy, then he headed towards home.

  Sawyer still sat on the ground against a tree. He wanted to disappear. He dropped his head into his hands and wept. Between the tears, he saw someone's boots come into view. Matt dropped down to his level, took him in his arms, and let him cry the pain away. He cried from his heart for all the pain and secrets he had kept from them for years. He cried of all the years he had lost with them, and finally, he cried for fear of them leaving just as his birth mother had many years ago. Because if he was honest with himself that was the deepest fear. When he got control, he wiped his eyes.

  Matt got up and held out his hand. Sawyer looked at him for a time and finally took his hand.

  "Let's head home, bro," Matt told him grimly.

  They all walked home. Matt looked at Cole who had the same face as Sawyer's so full of guilt. Cole wouldn't meet his eyes as they walked back. Cole's shoulders sagged like he was carrying the world.

  Izzy awoke from a sound sleep, but she didn't know why. Waking up in the middle of the night was strange for her. Well, at least it wasn't a nightmare. She felt a burden to pray for Cole and the Starrys. She sat up and prayed for her brother to give him wisdom and protection through whatever hard time he was going through.

  When they all got home and were dry, Tommy was still out, so they put her in front of the fire. Matt had filled Susan and Isaiah in on what they had heard.

  Cole sat on the chair watching Tommy sleep. Now, looking at her, he could see how she looked like what he could think of an older version of Julia. For years, he had been looking for her and to think she was here all along. He could scream or cry. He was so mad. He saw the family all around, trying not to look at him, but he knew they had to wonder why he didn't tell them. "So, my real name is Coleman Cooper." He waited.

  "Why did you never tell us?" Matt asked.

  He turned back at Tommy. "Growin’ up, it was always a fight. No one white liked me, and no one Mexican trusted me. And the Coopers were evil. Then the men, the Feds some called them, I stayed with after the kidnappin’. They almost broke me. My spirit. I thought about telling and staying for the summer, but I didn't want to give up my freedom in town."

  Sawyer's eyes were puffy and red from crying. He looked hopeless and vulnerable, though he was trying not to show it. "The feds asked her questions all the time. She would get so scared she would hide under my bed for hours. Be careful when she tells."

  They all agreed.

  “How come you never knew Tommy was your childhood friend?” Jerry asked.

  Cole shrugged, “I honestly thought she died. It has been so long, and I knew what the Coopers did to people they didn’t like. Though I always looked and never gave up hope. It wasn’t there.” He shook his head. “Before this job, I never got to know Tommy, so I didn't think much of her. I have been struggling with remembering lately. I thought it was this time of year.”

  Sawyer nodded. “It will be fifteen years this March.”

  Cole looked at him, "Tommy didn't tell the Feds?"

  "No, she didn't." He looked at his boots. "I did. They didn't question me as much, though, ‘cause they wanted answers from Tommy. And she never really spoke." He shook his head. "I can remember the last time she talked. We were in the kitchen with Charlotte."

  "Charlotte Blanche?"

  "Yes. She was our nurse who helped, as Nanny had. We were in the kitchen makin’ cookies that you cut into shapes. Charlotte was leavin’ that week, and it was hard because she was our only hope for sanity.

  “I remember Tommy taking a heart-shaped cookie. She pointed to it like it was her heart, then she broke it into two pieces and pointed to her own heart and said, ‘Broken, broken heart’, then she ran out. She never said a word after that until y'all know when. She also never cried after that. I remember tryin’ to fix the heart, but it never was the same.” His heart was so broken. “There was still a break in it, just
like Tommy's heart." He wiped at the tears running down his face. He still couldn't believe he was talking about their past with his family. A part of him felt deep fear, and another part felt a feeling of peace for finally being honest.

  Ellen touched his arm. "No wonder you came to me as such a broken boy."

  He looked at her and saw the love in her eyes. "You knew the truth?"

  She shook her head. "I knew you and Tommy were hidin’ somethin’, I believed you knew her long before the train you supposedly met on. You knew too much about her, and I could see the love you had for her. I also saw the brokenness." She kissed his head, not caring about what the others saw. "I didn't care that I wasn't told. I loved you anyway, knowin’ I may never know your story. Though I have prayed it would come out, but I never thought it would be like this, though." She moved his wet hair back from his face and smiled. "But you are a Star of my heart. Good thing I don't expect normal much."

  Sawyer leaned into her hand. "Thank you."

  Ellen nodded, seeming to know they needed the truth out in the open for once.

  "You've stood by her a long time," Cole told Sawyer.

  Sawyer shrugged. "Don't tell Tommy this, but before she was taken, I promised Pa I would stay with her, keep us together. He knew there was trouble, but he didn't have enough sense to protect his children," Sawyer said bitterly. "It was too late by the time he tried."

  Chapter Fifteen

  Tommy woke up but kept her eyes closed; she didn't want them to know she was awake yet. She heard the family talking in soft tones. She opened her eyes, still not a tear dropped.

  "Well, Sweet Pea is awake," Andrew drawled. When he got emotional or stressed, his accent got thicker.

  Tommy finally sat up and looked around at her loving family. Shame filled her, and she hid her face in her hands. Susan came over with water and handed it to her. The silence was thick. No one knew what to say. Tommy's eyes lay on Cole. He looked grim. The silence became awkward. She broke the gaze and looked around. "I'm sorry for all of it. So sorry. There were times when I wanted to tell y'all, but it hurt too much to talk about it."

  Sawyer looked at her to encourage her to tell the truth. She knew that look. "Okay, so I was scared of y'all leavin’, more scared than I have ever been."

  Ellen came over to where she sat. "Do you want to talk about it now?" she asked.

  Tommy shook her head. "But I will." She put up her knees and pulled the blankets around her as Ellen shared some of the blankets as they both lay against the sofa. "My real name is Julia Williams. I lived in a town with Cole and George as a kid.”

  Sawyer started, “Our pas were known as the Union Clan. My pa was the judge, Cole's pa did the hands-on stuff, and George's pa thought up most of what they did, though I am pretty sure Uncle Hugo was the brains behind most of it. He was Cole's real uncle."

  Cole spoke up. “Their main reason was to get rid of the Coopers and to stop all the evil they did. Most fathers would have left their children at home but not our pas; they brought us on every raid. I drove wagons full of slaves since I was seven with Sawyer and then Izzy and Julia…" He paused. "Tommy also came along. George and Diana's pa protected his children and didn't want them along. My pa and Tommy’s were like one man, made sure that you weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth."

  Tommy nodded, "You got that right. We worked for everything we had; nothin’ was given to us. It was a hard life livin’ in fear that our pas wouldn't come home one night."

  Cole spoke, "When Nanny left, it was a big shock to all of us.

  Tommy nodded, "She was a Strong lady. Not a normal Nanny. She would yell at my pa.” She paused. “She was so wonderful and made Sawyer's and my life easier, and I knew she was there for Cole. She was the only woman who would stand up to Cole's pa."

  Cole nodded, "If you haven't guessed, my pa was a mean man. Who spoke mostly through his fists. My ma never stood up to him, but Tommy and Sawyer's ma, and Nanny, fought him. I actually went to live with them when ma was pregnant with the twins." He closed his eyes and then looked out the window. He was having a hard time talking about this. He had never told anyone. Only a handful of the Liberty House people just knew about him. "My pa didn't want another child ‘cause there was a chance for it to come out lookin’ like my ma. Then two girls came out. Annie hardly made it to adulthood, and Izzy came out fightin’." He shrugged, "They all came home from the Williams. I didn't want them to leave. I raised Izzy along with Amy."

  "Nanny helped a lot of people, like my ma did," Tommy said.

  They stopped talking. None of them wanted to finish the story. It was ugly and didn't end well, no matter if it was told for the first time or the hundredth time. Cole spoke up, "We should have known something was going to happen. We had done everything the same, but the town had started gossipin’, started turnin’ their backs on us, and there were always shootings.

  Sawyer shook his head. "I was given to the Williams as an infant where Ma raised me from an infant, after I was left at the Cooper doorstep.” He paused. “See one of Cole's cousins would sleep in the woods by the house, looking for babies every single night. His cousin still does that to this day."

  "Ma thought she would try to find my real ma, see if she could help her out as well. She did, but I never met her until I was eleven though. She was a saloon girl." He paused. "She worked in the town where I lived. I would visit her some. Though I didn’t like it. I remember it smelled bad and was dirty. I found out later, she was working for the Coopers as a Madam who trapped white girls into that life. I was there one day when a man came in who worked with the Coopers. She fought with him and told him she was done working for him. The pas came in. My pa grabbed me, but he was holding the gun. There was a shootout with my ma fightin’ with the man, and then the gun went off, and my Ma was in the way."

  “Your pa shot her, didn't he?" Cole asked.

  Sawyer nodded, "I talked with Juan Jose about it for a long time. He helped me. It helped to know my ma had made the right decision before she died. But it was too late." He paused looking at the floor. "I had never met my pa." He couldn't go on anymore.

  Cole continued for him, "The pas were meeting at a restaurant in town, and I went alone ‘cause I knew my friends would be there. I left Izzy at home for once. I never left her alone."

  Tommy closed her eyes, "I wasn't goin’ to go, but Nanny had left, and I was angry about it. I didn't lose just one ma but two. Pa and I had a fight. I asked him to go, and he didn't care and took me. I ask myself so many times what would have happened had I not gone."

  Cole nodded, "I thought about it too, or if I had just knocked you out of the way, and I had gone instead." He looked at the family, who looked confused. "We were talkin’ at a table by the wall. Like normal, Tommy and I were fightin’ and walked to the back to see one of the slaves. Then we walked up front, and Tommy slammed the door in my face. I opened it enough to see the men walk in. One of them shot Tommy's pa but didn't kill him. I saw them grab Diana and hold a gun to her." He closed his eyes, then opened them, and took a deep breath like it had been taken from him. "Tommy had walked farther into the room, I couldn't reach her, and it happened so fast. She was picked up by a masked man. I was lookin’ in her eyes, and then she was gone. It happened so fast; I couldn't react. If I moved faster, I could have gotten to them both." Cole let the tears fall.

  Sawyer looked at him, "I tried to tell myself the same thing, but telling yourself those lies ain't worth it. Let it go. I was there too, and I stood there, but I couldn't move. Before I could, Tommy was taken, and if I had moved faster, I would have been shot, and so would you. The two dads were there with Uncle Hego. They were adults who could shoot, and they couldn't do anything. It was out of our hands."

  Cole looked in so much despair. "You ran after them though. I just stood there, helpless."

  "Yeah, I did. I was stupid." Sawyer told him. "I got on Tiny and ran after them till I lost them and got lost, and Tiny went lame. I sat there in the dark the fi
rst night and I would have probably found my way home by morning had I not been found by the men." Sawyer made a disgusted face. "I have been thinking through a lot lately, and if I hadn't been taken, I wouldn't have ended up here with Tommy and the family, and if you were taken, you would be dead."

  Cole just looked at him.

  Sawyer sighed. "I was there for the two days of the three days we were gone. I was put in another room, but I could hear and talk to Tommy, I touched her fingers under the wall on the dirt floor. I was kept in a different room because I was special. He said I was his son. He lived with my ma at a place out of town, and after she had me, she went back to her old life."

  Tommy shook, but not from the cold, "The man came in a couple of times, gave us water and not much else. I was so hungry. I would talk to Diana and the other boy that was there. He didn't look anything like Cole, but he was grabbed after we left the restaurant. But we didn't talk much or move much." She touched her wrists. "We couldn't reach out or touch. That last night there was a thunderstorm that could move the earth. It got so loud and rained so hard, and then it started to get cold, very fast. It was getting dark when the man came in." She closed her eyes.

  "He came in carrying a gun, saying he was going to kill the judge's daughter. I shut my eyes, and I heard the gunshot and then another. It was so loud I thought my ears would never stop ringing. I opened my eyes and Diana was bleeding. There was so much blood. I couldn't reach her. I was too far away." She opened her eyes. "If I could have reached her, I could have stopped the bleeding. I couldn't because she was too far away. I screamed and screamed she would live, but she never woke up."

  Ellen held her. She didn't speak, for there were no words to stop the pain.