Liberty House Read online

  He hadn’t seen her face and he acted like she hadn’t moved away from him. "You doing work for the train?"

  She nodded and her head spun. Maybe he hit her harder than she thought. She laid against the station wall, closing her eyes. "What’s wrong, Izzy?" Roy asked concerned.

  "Just a little dizzy," she muttered as she kept her eyes closed.

  Roy looked in her face and saw the red mark that was starting to swell and turn blue. "Who did this?" he asked angrily. He gave her a drink from his canteen.

  She drank it and told him what happened, ending it with, "I am really worried about it, what if it ain’t just funning."

  Roy nodded. "Let's not panic, but I’ll go warn Cole right now and it will get there before they do."

  Izzy nodded.

  After sending the telegram, they walked to the carriage. Roy knew her long enough to know he didn’t help her up. She could do it and wouldn’t let him touch her anyway. He knew that all too well.

  "Go to the bank," Izzy told him.

  He shook his head, "No, why don’t we get a late lunch?"

  "Another time. I need to work," Izzy told him.

  Roy shook his head. “You can’t do work in the bank with that face."

  Izzy nodded, understanding it would start more rumors and there wasn’t a bigger gossiper than the town banker. "Then take me to lunch, Roy.” Izzy smiled.

  “So, is rich living suiting you?” Katrina asked Tommy one evening a week after she moved in.

  It was Sunday, and they all came over after church and now they were visiting in the beautiful gardens. “It’s so much more,” Tommy beamed.

  “I’ve gotten to read so much bein’ here. But it gets a little boring doin’ nothin’ but watchin’ Tommy paint or readin’ or sometimes goin’ ridin’,” Gloria said.

  “I can see how that can be,” Katrina said.

  “Just keep busy. I would always have people over if I got bored,” Susan said.

  “This ain't our home, though, and we don’t have any friends to invite,” Gloria said. “I’ve had time to think through things.”

  “So, Tommy what’re you learnin’ here?” Katrina asked.

  “So much, he has really helped,” with just more than her art, he got to her heart and he was helping her learn how to open up. She was learning to trust her family more. Slowly, but surely.

  “With coming to grip of what has happened, you think?” Cole asked.

  “Maybe a little. He's teachin’ me to open up more with my feelings, not keep them all inside. But you knew he would do that didn't you?” Tommy asked not upset, just curious.

  Cole didn’t look like the question bothered him. “Sam helped children at the Home. He has a way of helpin’ and people not even realizin’ it. He did that for me. He has a gift that way. You said it yourself he helps you open up in your art, but most importantly in your heart and soul where it matters,” Cole said honestly.

  “He can only do that because of what one man did for him,” Sam said, standing in the door.

  “Is that man Cole?” Tommy watched him. She had become as comfortable with him almost as much as with her family. That didn’t happen often. Maybe her heart was softening. She almost looked at Cole. She wanted to keep feeling. A part of her heart had been dead for too long. It was time for it to open. Though it scared her a little.

  “Cole was only a helper of this man.”

  “Was it Mr. Runyan?”

  Sam walked in and sat down in a chair across from Tommy, “No, Mr. Runyan was just a follower as well.”

  “Then who?” She was confused and curious about who it could be.

  “A perfect man that could heal the sick, the blind. Who brought all the little children unto Him, loving them all. I like to call him my Artist, the greatest Painter of all, you know why?”

  She shook her head not understanding what he was saying.

  “Because He drew the greatest picture of all, He made this world; He loved colors like white, black, and red because He drew us in the most beautiful way. I have been teaching you a lot this week on creating a masterpiece, the best Masterpiece was done by Jesus Christ when He died at Cavalry for your sin and rose three days later. He took on our sins that day so we- His best creation-could live in His Love forever.”

  Tommy was silent for a moment. “I've never thought of it like that.”

  “Do you believe there is a God?”

  “Of course. Like you said, how can you see all this beauty and not believe in God. I just can't think of God wantin’ me,” Tommy said uncomfortably.

  He nodded and said gently, “I see. Hopefully one day you see, you couldn't be more wrong.”

  Had anyone else told Tommy that she might have gotten mad, but he said it so hopeful, not any judgment in it.

  Chapter Twenty

  She missed Cole's company and hated to admit it. Tommy sat in front of her painting and stared at it. She couldn't seem to think straight at the moment. And she told herself it wasn't because Cole had left to work at the sheriff's office during the day and he came in the evening. Now Matt and Maverick were staying during the day.

  She hadn't realized how much she had gotten used to him being around during the day. He would come this evening with the others while she painted. How could he have gotten so close to her? How had she let him?

  Maybe because he was the only man that had cared for her in a long time or ever. She had never become close to a man like Cole. Never had a man stuck around long enough. And it looked like Cole stuck through thick and thin.

  She started painting as she remembered the memories. Oh, there were other orphans who liked her, but she didn't talk and got in trouble too much, so none really stayed around long enough. She had one crush as a child. His name was Jimmy. He was one of the oldest orphans there and he was nice to her. But then he told her one night he was joining the Rebels and left that week. She never heard from him again.

  She had never really liked a boy or man again. She lived at Silkwood and no man here wanted her for any good reason. Even if she had been interested in which she wasn't.

  Well, her chances with men hadn’t been so good. But with Cole it was different, he opened his heart up to her and he made her feel like she could do the same. The only family got to see what he was in her heart.

  Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let herself fall for him. It wouldn't be a hard thing to do. But he was a Christian and she wasn't. He knew his faith and he wouldn't marry an unbeliever. What if she did become a Christian? Would he choose to love her? Stand by her? Help her? Give her more than physical protection but also protect her heart, body, her innocence?

  Or what was left of it? Who was she funning? He would never choose her. She wasn't good enough for that. And anyway, he would have to live her life.

  He liked her family and got along with them.

  But to live in fear for the rest of his life, she couldn’t do it. No, he'd get a better girl. The more she thought about it, the more bitter her feelings grew. The more bitter she felt, the heavier the paint got. She sat back and stared at the painting like it was going to kill her. She hadn’t realized how hard she was painting, how dark it was, but it showed her childhood nightmare. She hated it. She hated remembering that time in her life.

  “Now Miss Tommy, I might be able to help if you stop looking at the paintings like you’re going to kill it,” Sam said from the door.

  She looked at him surprised. “Do you enjoy doing that-listening or watching before you show yourself?”

  “I do actually. It helps me get a figure on the situation.”

  “And what is your answer to this situation?” Tommy asked, knowing she might not like the answer.

  He walked in and sat down calmly, “You paint how you feel. When you’re content and happy, you portray that. And when you’re confused or upset, you paint with such emotion, it’s amazing. For such a petite young woman, you hold a lot of emotion.”

  She didn't say anything, but looked back at the pai
nting.

  “So, what ails y’all?” He slurred so unlike him.

  When she didn't answer he said, “It must be something big to paint that heavy and with such emotion.”

  “I'll paint another one if you want.”

  “I don't care about the painting. I care about you.”

  “Why? I don't understand how people can care for me.” She paused, realizing what she said, “My family, yes. But Cole? You? Why?”

  “You can't see how much people love you because you can't love and forgive yourself. You can't see what a wonderful person you are; you can't see why others love you and give them to you with trust. You don't see it because you haven't learned to love yourself,” he said so gently, but it hurt.

  “I do love myself.”

  “Fine,” he said, more firmly. He had never been this firm with her. “Paint me a picture of what you think of yourself. Not with your family in it or a close friend or a child. Just yourself.” He moved the painting and placed a fresh white one. “Paint,” he ordered.

  Tommy set her jaw and tried to paint herself. And in that instant, she realized she didn't like herself or the person she had become all after Diana was killed. She should have died. Diana should have lived.

  She wanted to think better of herself, but doubts keep coming in, telling her she wasn't good enough for anyone's love. Not even from the one man she wanted it from, her Father. Even if he did change, it was too late to show her that. She did want to be loved and to be accepted. To not deny it any longer. The feeling of such despair filled her whole being. To fill that empty hole inside her, nothing ever filled it. She tried harder to paint with her heart, but it just wasn't there. Finally, she sat back and threw the paintbrush at the painting and put her head in her hands and cried. None like before but tears that came from her heart, her very soul.

  Sam put a hand on her shoulder. He didn’t try to stop her tears but let them pass.

  Tommy started getting control of herself. She glared at him, saying, “I'm not supposed to cry.” She looked away. “My pa taught me it was a sign of weakness and you should never do it. And I believed him until about three weeks ago.”

  “I'm sorry about that.”

  She shrugged. “It was life.” She said simply like it didn't bother her.

  “Why did you tell me then if it didn't matter?”

  “How can I change how I feel?” She whispered.

  “Have someone believe in you. Love you like no other. And I know Someone that will do that. Believe that He will love you, care for you, and never leave you. He will be your Friend, Someone always there to talk too. And He has always loved you and supported you.”

  “Really? I have a man trying to kill me.”

  “Think about it, Tommy. You do live this kind of life, how have you lived so far? Can you answer me? You’re alive when everything says you shouldn't be,” he paused, “Someone had to be looking out for you. Someone bigger than human.” He got where she could see his face. “That person is in Heaven; He wants you to be with Him forever. Now and in the afterlife. He wants to come into your heart and heal those wounds you have. To help you forgive yourself, to love yourself and to be loved.”

  “How can God help me when He couldn't even forgive me for that night?” She looked away.

  “But you’re wrong, God will forgive you and never bring up those dark spots in your life again. He will wash all those sins away and make you White as snow, no more past sins to deal with, Tommy. That’s what He can do for you if you just let Him. He will take away the guilt,” he picked up her wet painting. “He wants to take away this pain, you will always remember it but it will be white as this clean canvas, He wants to start over with you, take away all the ugly and bad and make you all new in His way… You just have to trust Him.”

  “I can't. It hurts too much,” she whispered and put her head in her hands.

  “Fine, but give it some thought.”

  She got up and walked to the window, folding her arms. “Can I take a break? I have a headache.”

  “Certainly, take all the time you need.” He left.

  Tommy threw herself on the day sofa, crying herself to sleep.

  The next day was much better than the day before, Tommy thought. She had woken up from crying and rushed to find Sam. Thankfully, he was not upset. He knew he would get her to work when he wanted. She knew he was funning. But she still felt bad for not working for all they were doing for her. So, it was six in the morning, she had two paintings done, and if she did say herself, they were good.

  She enjoyed working with Sam. When she got upset, or over-emotional, he didn’t get mad. Just let it go and moved on from it. She didn’t even mind when he went after her with his biblical teachings. She asked him questions, with him she didn’t feel any pressure to believe.

  Cole stayed at the office last night, so she hadn’t seen him since yesterday afternoon. Who knew a person could miss that Texan so much?

  A few minutes later, Sam walked in, “Very well done, Miss Tommy.” He looked over her paintings. “Would you like the day off?”

  “Why the day off? Am I not doing a good job? Are you getting tired of working with me? I’ll try harder,” her voice full of concern.

  “No, you’re doing a wonderful job,” he wondered in her past if people had often got tired of her and sent her away. “Two ladies are here to see you and it may take awhile.”

  Fear entered her eyes.

  “Maverick is here. He approved them,” Sam said.

  “Alright, thank you,” she told him, her eyes relaxed. She had such trust in her family at the time and then none at other times. She always needed to change it to having trust. “I’ll be there in a moment.”

  Tommy walked in the gardens. She saw two nicely dressed women walking in the gardens. Who knew she was staying here?

  “Maverick,” she called and stayed by the door. He came to her and whispered, “I can handle this.”

  “Should I send Gloria?”

  “No, it’ll just be a minute.”

  “I’ll be right inside if you need me.”

  She nodded and started to head towards the visitors. When she got closer and was about to sit down, the smaller dark-haired woman covered her mouth and said, “Oh, my.”

  “Is there something wrong?” Tommy asked.

  She shook her head, unable to speak.

  Tommy felt very strange. Just then, the woman got up and walked over to her and touched Tommy’s cheek, “You look so much like Jane Williams.”

  “How did you know that name?” Tommy asked as she stepped back from her touch. This lady knew her mother. Her heart beat faster.

  The blond woman spoke up. “I’m sorry for this awkward moment. Maybe we should start again?”

  Tommy sat down and so did the other woman.

  “I apologize for that. My name is Lucia Walker, and this is my partner Sophia Smith.”

  “I’m sorry about that but you look so much like your mother,” Sophia said.

  Tommy touched her face. “Oh my,” she whispered. No one had ever told her that. She didn't remember what her mother looked like.

  “How did you know my mother?”

  “I don’t remember that well, but I have seen a picture of her recently. And you look just like her.”

  “Oh. So, would you be the same Sophia from my childhood?” She only knew that from Cole mentioning Sophia to her. Also adding she helped run the Liberty House in all states. They both traveled to two states and territories often. Speaking and getting the message out to help women of shame and their children. Cole had said he met up with them when he had no idea what to do with the girls and women and even their children from the saloon, brothels, and cat houses. Lucia had stepped in and taken over so Cole could help in other ways. Cole said they were his older sisters he never had since both were fifteen years his senior. But close friend none of the less. Tommy felt like she knew the ladies from what she heard from Cole.

  “Yes. I am.”


  “Does Cole know you’re here?”

  “Not at the moment.”

  “Oh,” Tommy was surprised. “Well, he’ll be here tonight.”

  “Oh, he will? I thought he was working as your guardian?”

  “He is, but he works here for my brothers as well a lot of the time. He comes every other evening when my family does. So, what did you want to speak with me about?” Tommy asked, curious about what it was about.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  With the sun purring down, the wind on his face, through his hair, Cole rode his mare down the beach. He hadn’t done this in years, too afraid his dark skin would show through. He was so glad he didn’t have to worry about that anymore. But then he never did. That was his choice. Not God’s way, he knew. He slowed down to a fast walk. He needed to get back to the office, and then he would go to the Daphne Estate (Mr. Runyan’s house) and see Tommy.

  He moaned. He was in deep. Deep trouble. He thought about her way too. He looked forward to seeing her every evening. Talking with her. He missed seeing her during the day. He hadn’t been able to get away last night. And he ached to see her.

  He didn’t realize how much she meant to him. He had come to realize that he loved her. Loved her so much. He loved helping her through struggles, to see her feel better. Her laugh, her stubborn way, her beautiful hair, her sense of humor, he loved how she looked at him in admiration. He loved those eyes, they seemed to look right through him, and he wanted to be able to trust her with his whole heart. He even wanted to trust her with something he had never told anyone. He loved her so. He loved that she cared so much for her younger siblings. He loved everything about her.

  But he couldn’t tell her that. Maybe never. She wasn’t a Christian. And he was. He didn’t know how to change that. He wanted her to believe, not only so he could marry her, but she could be healed. The only way he got through the hard part of his life was with God’s help. And when he tried doing it his way, his own power, he fell right on his face. He had learned the hard way. He just wanted Tommy to feel loved by God and him one day. Maybe that was the problem. He wanted to see her salvation and he also wanted her to be able to be his wife.