Liberty House Page 30
Julia didn't look so convinced. "I reckon I will find out."
"You’re a brave and kind woman. You’ll be wonderful at it," Cole reassured her.
Julia shrugged. "So much has changed. I just would never have seen this coming, when you came here a couple of months ago."
"You and me both." Cole looked at her again. "But not all is bad that happened."
Julia looked up at him, her look turning too tender. "No, not all bad."
Cole smiled; he couldn't help it.
Julia eyed him. "What is it?"
"Can't a man just smile, and it is nothing?"
Julia shook her head. "A girl with five brothers? Nope, you can't, ‘cause if one of them smiled like they would have done something crazy already."
Cole just laughed and tried to look innocent.
Julia's eyes got bigger. "What did you do, Texan?"
Cole winked at her. "Wouldn't you like to know? Now if you close your eyes, I will show you, Rose."
She looked at him mystified.
"Trust me and do it."
She finally did, "Are you gonna kiss me?" She sounded too hopeful.
"One day." He kissed her on the forehead.
She felt Cole’s strong hands on her shoulders. She could smell the water and feel how the wind was on her face. He moved his hands away and moved in front of her.
"You can open them," Cole told her. The first thing she saw was their families standing up while Ellen sat holding a sign. The sign read, "Will you marry me? Donovan & Starry forever."
She looked down to find Cole on his knees in the sand. "Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me? I choose to love you from this day forward, forever and always. Will you have me, my Julia-Rose? I love you, my Yellow Rose."
She just stared at him. God, I am trusting You. This is what You want for my life. “Oh, wow! Yes! Yes! Oh, Yes! I will marry you.” He took her hand and placed on her finger a beautiful ring. Of course, it could be just plain gold and she would have loved it. It had a red stone with little gold stones around.
"I know rings before the wedding are not normal, but I want to show you what it means. The red is for my unending love for you. The yellow is for my loyalty to you, my one and only Rose. I love you, my Julia-Rose."
"I love you too, my Tex."
He kissed her ring that looked perfect on her hand. "For all the kisses I owe you."
"It’ll be my first real kiss," she said shyly.
"Unfortunately, it won’t be mine. But it will be our first kiss before God, our families, and friends as husband and wife."
"Oh, I’ll meet your family, wow," she said, a little overwhelmed.
"One day at a time." He put an arm around her shoulders. "They’re on their way and should be here in about a couple of days. I thought we’d have the wedding day after they get here. Gloria and Jerry wanna get married the same day."
If Cole could have painted Julia's face he would have. Her mouth fell open. He gently shut it with a finger. "Yes, darlin’, would you like to say something?"
Julia frowned amusingly. “You have all this planned without me knowin’.”
"Everything is set to have it at your place, the ceremony, and reception as much as my family helps, we will have it all ready," Cole lowered his voice, "We want Ellen to be there."
Julia nodded. Well, so much for planning her own wedding. She just laughed, "I guess I am gonna go to a wedding I didn’t plan. I can’t wait, Texan.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
"You are so crazy, Jesse!" Izzy joked with him as he swung the sign around his head, making the children laugh.
"Yes, I am." Jesse winked at her. "I am crazy over the love I have for you."
Izzy looked surprised to hear this. She just blushed. Imagine that, her blushing. She didn't know she had it in her to blush again.
Jesse came closer and put the sign beside them, hiding them from the children and family, "Can I steal a kiss?" he asked.
Izzy didn't kiss often; she had only kissed one other man willingly. She had known that young man since they were children. She took a deep breath. This was about choice. She could choose to move past this. (It would be a big move for her). She had thought if Jesse asked if she would say yes to him. She was glad he asked if he had just kissed her. She would have pushed him away and got too scared. He had asked her. Respecting her enough to ask her what she wanted. God, make this be the right choice. She had made enough bad ones in the past. She slowly nodded. She liked Jesse. So why shouldn't she kiss him?
He was slow, leaning over and pecked her on the lips. The first one was fast and easy. When he came back for the second, it was soft and sweet. Her heartbeat from emotion, but not like a young innocent girl would. She felt no fear and was thankful for that. He smiled as he stepped back.
She smiled back feeling his emotions. Not her own emotions.
He winked at her, then turned back to the children.
She walked over to where Ellen sat, she looked like she was having a better day. She hated that the beautiful young mother was dying. She sat down and drank some sweet tea she had made earlier. It gave her a sugar high, not like she needed that. Though her heart wasn't beating as it should have. Something took that away. Would she ever feel excitement like Julia had for Cole? Or the innocence of a young woman?
Ellen smiled at her. "Having fun?"
Izzy nodded. "I am."
"You should feel special. He’s never had a woman touch his heart like you. Not that many tried or stayed long enough." Ellen looked at her deeply. "Once his heart is given, you will never lose it."
Izzy smiled lightly. "Do you think I should marry him?" She put up a hand. "I know it is way too early for me to know, but I want to talk to you..." she put a hand over her mouth like I can't believe I just said that.
Ellen touched her hand. "It is just fine. We both know I won't be here when you are both ready and that is just how it is." Clearing her throat, she kept her eyes light. "Only you can answer if you think you should marry him. I won't sugarcoat it for you. Jesse is the hardest of all my Stars. He just doesn't see things like everyone else. Or anyone." Ellen told her honestly, "But he is gentle, thoughtful, and he has made such a difference in his life lately. He had changed a lot for the better. I can see how God is softening his heart."
Izzy looked at her. "You think I could keep softening it."
Ellen shook her head. "No, that is a mother's job, sisters, or brothers. Not a wife's job. You can as a spouse help your man to be a better person and help along the way. They work on each other's strengths and weaknesses," her face softened, "But you could be what God has in mind for him, but only you can know that. Follow God in your relationship, not your feelings, or emotions. Keep God at the center of your relationship." Ellen squished her hand, "I have prayed for all my children's spouses and if you become one. Now that I prayed for you."
Izzy looked at her hand and then looked into a dying woman's eyes. What she saw was a woman who even in her death loved her children and God-like she had a hundred years left. She would have given anything for her mother to feel the same way about her. She wanted to say something as profound, but couldn't find her voice.
Ellen saw that and smiled softly, "Cole will be a wonderful father."
Izzy smiled brightly. "Cole is a wonderful father. He has done so much good for others. I am glad he finally found Julia."
"Who knew the girl he loved as a friend, would later come into his life as a young woman and he would marry her," Ellen chuckled.
Izzy agreed, "I always knew Julia had something special about her." She shared a look with Ellen as Gloria walked up.
Ellen didn't know when two brides had ever looked so elegant. She sat in a chair in the girls' room. Gloria was wearing an old wedding dress her real mother had given her before she died. She had taken it to the orphanage. Ellen had gone back to get it, it was not easy to get, but it was her daughter’s only link to her mother and now she wore it proudly.
Katrina stood there, watching them both.
Julia walked in a white dress. It had a straight skirt and a nice lace-covered top. It was stunning, but not a real wedding dress. There hadn't been time to shop for a ready-made one and not enough time to make one. She had tears in her eyes, "Oh, my beautiful daughters, how blessed I am."
They all hugged and wiped at their own tears of happiness and grief.
They all stood in front of the mirror, talking like little girls on how they would wear their hair, "Cole likes my hair down, so I'll probably do something like that," Julia said. She was still limping on her feet, not wearing shoes most of the time.
"But having your hair down for the wedding is not proper," Gloria told her.
"Now you sound like Susan." Julia rolled her eyes. "Cole would say do what I want."
Izzy and Annie walked in and smiled at the two brides. Izzy came over and hugged Julia from behind, "I have wondered what Cole’s wife would be like. I never thought she would be wonderful as you." She lowered her voice, "I have always wanted a close sister."
Julia hugged her back. "I love you too, Izzy."
Rosa Marshall walked in; she was carrying a box. She looked at her daughter hugging her future daughter-in-law.
Annie greeted her and hugged her. Their relationship was close, a body could see that. A body could also see she was not close to Izzy or Cole.
Julia greeted her, her smile a little strained. It was hard for Julia to act like everything was fine between her two children and her.
Rosa put the box on the bed. "This is something I thought you should have," she paused, "It was your mother’s.” She opened the box and let Julia take out the dress.
Julia pulled out the pure white dress, she held it close to her. "Thank you, Rosa."
Rosa smiled. "You can call me, Ma, if you want."
Julia looked to Ellen and then back, her eyes misted over. She smiled at Izzy, "Want to help me get into this thing?"
Izzy giggled. They all left the room with Izzy telling Julia, "When I came here after Lucia and Sophia's funeral, I pulled it out of the closet in that room. I had it redone by some seamstresses."
"How did you know?" Julia asked.
"I got eyes and I knew my brother's heart," Izzy said it like ‘didn't everyone?’
Julia laughed and they were out of earshot.
Rosa sat down on the bed. "You have done a wonderful job with Julia. She is a remarkable young woman. I never thought I would ever see Cole this at peace. Your daughter has really made a difference."
Ellen smiled, "I wish I could say it was my daughter, but it is not. God changed him. And will continue to help him through trials he and Julia will face."
Rosa looked at her, "You have a deep faith, how?” She knew how it sounded, "I shouldn't have asked, it’s none of my business."
Ellen laughed lightly. “Not much affects me after raising children that probably wanted me six feet under because I was making them feel things they had never felt before." She sighed, "Why do I have faith after what God is doing? It is not my body but God's body to do what He wants with. He has my heart and Soul. He can take it home in ten years or next week, but we never know how long we have left in this world. I have a pretty good idea when." She looked away. "Don't think I haven't struggled with leaving my children, but I know I am getting to my Home before they will. I will wait there for them. I will see my Pedro."
Rosa had tears in her eyes. "You love so deeply. I don't know how to love my own children right."
Ellen shook her head. "No, you do. You love one like a daughter. The others you have let a man and regrets get between you. That man is dead. Though he is keeping you from loving your children. Let go of that man and ask your children to forgive you." She was surprised she had the nerve to say that, but she has always spoken her mind, but in love or she tried to. After all, they had the same son now.
Rosa's eyes rose. "I have nothing to ask forgiveness for, what do you know? You probably had a perfect life with your children."
Ellen chuckled in disbelief. "You got your children from your womb, I only got three that way. The rest by choice. So yes, it was a perfect love because I chose to love them every day, even when I didn't want to. I chose to put them before myself and my man, my friends. I gave up my family for them. But that was my choice, not yours." She let a few tears fall. "Just don't wait till it is too late to see what you have right in front of you. Four adult children who need the love of a mother."
Rosa looked away. "My man just disciplined them. The way he saw fit."
Ellen's eyes went wide, "We both know he did not discipline properly. You know it. I saw the scars when Cole first started working with Maverick and I saw them go away. The scars on the inside stayed much longer. The first thing to rebuilding a relationship is to realize that you let them get hurt while doing nothing about it. Or while hurting them as well.” Ellen let a tear fall. "I have had to do that with my children. At least the lie you believed didn’t make you give away your child?"
Rosa's eye’s brows rose in question.
“I believed the world’s lie. I wouldn’t be able to raise children that didn’t match my color. So, for them, I gave them parents their color to be raised. Praying I was doing the right thing. I cried myself to sleep every night they were gone.” Ellen remembered Jesse’s eyes when she sent them to his new parents-who she tried to warn them about some of their problems, all which they ignored-looking in his eyes, she knew he wouldn’t get better with his new family.
“Why? You had other children?” Rosa asked.
Ellen was used to hearing things like this. They thought when Travis came; she would send her other troubled children away. She was told she could never love them as much as her new son. It made her want to hit them, but she was used to it by then. It was just how blind people were. Even God’s people. (Which made helping her children understand their true value hard because of what the hypocrite in the church said about her children). It wasn’t her job to show them the truth. It was her job to prove them wrong, “I still loved my boys. Pedro was dumped off because he was so sick. After his passing, it took Jess eight months to come home. After that, I had to ask his forgiveness. It took me years to forgive myself for doing it. Or forgiving Owen for lettin’ me. But I had to learn to move on and not live in the past. It wasn’t helping the other children or Jesse. I couldn’t let him keep me in guilt.”
“Taking the children was your idea?” Rosa asked.
Ellen smiled, thinking how young strong-willed she had been back then, thinking she could do everything on her own. Nothing would have changed her mind. She never knew it would be so hard. One of the hardest things she ever did, “There is a reason they are called Starry Yankees. It sort of stuck after I took them in since I became known as ‘the Yankees lady who gathers children like flowers.’ When they told this to me, I just told them I am gathering Stars for Heaven. Owen wanted them as well for a while, but it wasn’t in his heart. I prayed it would be.” She shrugged, “Maybe I was a little too stubborn, despite my mistakes. God provided for His Stars. He brought Ben into their life. Even if Owen hadn’t betrayed us, it shouldn’t be him walkin’ my girls down the aisle. It should be Ben. He baptized all the children who believed before he passed, including Hunter and Travis.”
Rosa’s eyes got wide, “But he was black?”
Ellen nodded, “Yes, he was. He was twice the man Owen was.” She knew this was all new to Rosa. It was a shock for most people. Rosa was going to be family to this strange family. Cole had come into their family with a different outlook on life in the first place. So, it was easier for him to adjust. Though Ben and Missy had passed away. She tried something softer, "Your son will be raisin’ my children. They will be your grandchildren, maybe you can get a second chance through them."
Rosa put her head in the air. The women were the same age and one was dy
ing, giving her children away. "I am not a very good grandmother."
Ellen looked at her, at least she was honest and gave it to her frank, "I am sorry about that. I always thought I would be around for my grandchildren, but God has different plans. I know now the only way my grandchildren will have grandparents are from their spouses' parents." She sighed, "I don't see Susan's parents being there very much."
"Well, they are going to move west, forsaken land," Rosa told her.
"There are trains that go between the land," Ellen told her. Your son owns one, remember she almost said, but knew she was getting nowhere with Rosa.
Rosa's face softened and her voice was low, "I have tried being a good mother. I just have that same love for Isabelle and Cole. I just need a man to get through life."
Ellen shook her head. "You are short-handing yourself. You believed the lie too long to blame them and then to think you need them to get through life. It is just not so. God didn’t make us depend on man or men. He made us to be dependent on Him. He will give Love to your children if you just ask Him and try. The Bible says, search for it like you would gold, hunt for it like a treasure. You are going to have to want to change and it won't be easy. Your children don't trust you and have never had a relationship with you like they should have." Ellen leaned forward, thinking she wouldn't have another chance to say this again, "You’ll never be whole in Christ and always feel like there is a gap if you let this destroy your children. You have four children--not just one--they want a mother too." She laid back, "It is never too late to start over, but it is so much harder. Time does not help. I should know. I got almost all my children in their teens. They had learned so much already. It is never too late with God. I repeat that verse a lot, 'With God all things are possible' till I thought I would go insane."
"So much time has passed, my son is twenty-six, and my daughter is twenty. They have always been so much older," Rosa said.
"Now you are just making excuses and even you know it," Ellen told her, she heard the girls coming back and wiped her face. "I will pray for you that you will have the strength to get your children back."